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F.A.T.S. - a good thing!

7/18/2023

F stands for faith. Faith that there is more to life than what the five senses perceive. There is our Higher Intelligence, Higher Soul or Higher Self, guiding and encouraging the Smaller Self or Soul that is associated with our body in this lifetime. The Higher Self sees the bigger picture, and is more aware of its divine connection. It stores all the information gathered from the many lives we have lived through. Our present life has a portion of this soul that is focused on having more emotional and creative experiences. In so doing, we shed the many layers of false conditioning and become better aware of our spiritual essence and purpose. Beliefs around competition, separation, lack, and unworthiness, begin to transform into a realization that we are all unique individual extensions of a divine Source Energy with the same attributes and power at our disposal, if we so choose. Each one of us, by just existing, are very valuable to the growth and continual expansion of the Universe. Have faith that we are a portion of Source Energy participating in a human experiment of self discovery, navigating through emotions, free will, and a touch of amnesia, towards our true origin. The Higher Self expresses itself through energy in the form of passion. It is the energy that stirs up joy, peace, excitement, and motivation.

A stands for action. When this energy of passion/joy/excitement is felt, act on it. Take a step towards it, no matter how small and the momentum will build.

T stands for trust. Trust that you will be guided as long as you choose to hear/feel the energetic message from your Higher Self and not let your ego mind instill fearful thoughts and limitations that pull you back.

S stands for synchronicity. Synchronistic events will begin to happen as you tape into your passion. Things will begin to flow and your path becomes clearer. Continue to follow it until a new, stronger passion arises and is preferred.

As you are true to your passion, the energy that you feed into it and radiate outwards brings joy, peace, inspiration, excitement, and contentment not only to yourself but to others that cross your path. This shared energy helps raise the vibration of others, giving them more clarity and desire to tap into their own unique path.

Pursuing your passion is not a selfish thing. It is who you are. When you are more of who you are, you realize your value, your worth, life has more meaning and you inspire others to do the same. The spirit of love, compassion, unity, and cooperation arises. When you are being truly authentic and doing your thing, the fear of competition and separation is pushed aside and a beautiful tapestry of harmony, community-mindedness and the sharing of one's bounty and talents flourishes.

Life Doesn't Owe us - It Grows Us

10/7/2020

Guess what? We are not in charge of this world - Life is. A driving force that creates, directs and organizes the evolution of all that is. Call it Life Force Energy, Creator, Universe, Source Energy, a Loving Consciousness, God, no matter; it is the Boss. Fortunately for us, it seems to know what it is doing. Look at the order and continual expansion of the universe with more than 100 billion galaxies and counting. Look at nature on this planet - its beauty, its delicate balance and inter-connectivity. Look at our human body and the harmony, resiliency and display of ingenious engineering.

Why do we continue to strive to take over?

We have evolved into beings that can do more than just survive and multiply. We have been given the ability to create, to reason and to be self-aware. Yet despite of all of our potential, the majority of humans are sleepwalking through life fed by the bountiful feast of fear from a variety of outside sources. To doubt or question the mind and check in first with the heart is a practice frowned upon by the ego and ridiculed by society.

Life does not owe us anything; Life is here to grow us. We have the choice as to whether we trust the process and climb on board working in harmony with one another and nature or whether we go kicking and screaming, refusing to give up control. As for the earth, Mother Nature, Life itself, it will continue to move forward, expand, and evolve with or without us.

On that happy note, we need to remember that we are extensions of a creative, loving Source Energy and therefore possess that same powerful, creative energy within us. The human experience involving ego, free-will, emotions, duality, and amnesia as to our true spiritual connection, have created the perfect scenario to feel to the depths of our being, the two aspects of life - fear and love. As unique and creative individuals, we have the opportunity to re-discover who we really are and in so doing share our authenticity and gifts with Life as it continues to navigate its way through darkness towards light, expansion, beauty and love. As we share this personal uniqueness, creative gifts and accept our spiritual and eternal beingness, we can exhale and allow Life to flow through us. Challenges are a part of life - but trust that Life Energy is working through us. View the challenges that life presents as fertilizer to grow us and to further feed the continual expansion of the universe.

Life is Change: Time to Wake up & Adapt

4/9/2020

Life is all about change. Everything is dynamic. We as humans crave comfort, safety, protection, and a sense of belonging. We attempt to control life by creating routines, expectations, segregated tribes and endless stories of how things should be. This sense of denial of "what is" creates a lot of unnecessary suffering and anxiety. Despite our greatest efforts, life will not be controlled. "Bad" things happen to "good" people on a micro level, however on a macro level, life has a harmonious ebb and flow. Nothing is wasted and nothing is destroyed. Everything is merely transformed. Seasons come and go, weather patterns alter, landscapes re-shape, animal populations fluctuate, water levels vary and human cells die and re-form daily. There is a loving intelligent consciousness far greater than our human brain can compute that reigns supreme. We have forgotten our connection to this consciousness by fabricating a belief that nature is here to serve us - to meet our every need.

How powerful are we really, when a tiny, invisible virus brings the world to its knees?
It is a natural survival tendency to be afraid of the unknown - it is a basic human emotion when situations are out of our control and our mortality is staring us in the face. The problem arises when fear takes the driver seat; all rationale goes out the window and panic sets in. Fear is handy when immediate danger lurks, however fearful thoughts of "what if" scenarios are a useless energy drain. Instead of feeding fear we can examine what is right in front of us each day and pick what we are able to take charge of. What choices can we make in the present that nurture a sense of calm rather than dis-ease?

In this time of isolation, we have the power to:
- control the amount of "bad" news we are exposed to and seek out more of the "good"
- observe our triggers and question negative patterns of thought that disrupt peace
- re-think our priorities, values and needs to lower stress levels
- get comfortable with mortality so life takes on more meaning
- de-clutter, simplify and re-connect with self and others to gain more freedom and alignment

This is a time to wake up and face the discomfort to what is happening here and now. We have no special entitlement over anything or anyone else. We are interconnected within a large ecosystem. In order to adapt or thrive our intentions going forward must stem from a mindset of "win-win" and not a "what's in it for me" attitude. The Covid-19 virus does not discriminate with regard to race, religion or social-economic status, just as a forest fire does not pick what animal or foliage it consumes. We are all one and one for all. Life is here for us to take part in and to experience synergistically, the beauty, the creativity, the challenges, the hardships and the joy it offers. It is not a competition but a partnering in co-creation and evolution. Surrender to what is, consciously choose action in the present and let go of invested outcomes. This is a time to wake up, to break out of our cocoon of illusion and to spread our wings so we can see the big picture. Life flows through us and therefore the more we flow with it, accept its process of change, control what we can control and let go of the rest, the more harmony and abundance will come to light.

Life is Perfect - It's the World that's Crazy!

3/5/2020

Life energy flows through everything and everybody. It is a loving, powerful, creative source that is continually expanding, evolving and re-balancing. Nature is a vibrant and awe inspiring display of Life's magnificence. Humans are a part of nature; a further extension of Life's creative design. Therefore like our perfect creator, we are perfect beings. If so, then why is this world seem so crazy, disconnected and fearful? That is where the human part of "human being" comes into play.

As humans we have the ability to be self-aware. Our ego/mind/brain is able to conceive a sense of separateness and uniqueness apart from other living and non-living forms around us. We are able to take on an identity of our own. A tree does not know itself to be a tree, however, a human is able to observe the qualities of that tree because the human ego sees the tree as separate to that of the human self. As a result, Life is able to experience itself in greater depth, through the eyes and perceptions of each human as they navigate their way in the world. Unlike nature, humans have the capacity to make choices that go beyond mere instinct and therefore able to be co-creators with Life.

So if we are products of a perfect Life energy force and Life flows through us, then why are we not as balanced, organized and peaceful as nature tends to be? Why does it feel like the world has run off the rails? Simply put; the "human" part of the equation is off balance with the "being" part. Society as a collective allows the ego to rule rather than have it serve as a conduit for Life to smoothly maneuver in a material world.

A dominate ego loves conflict, loves to be right/superior, and works from a place of fear; fear of not enough resources or not being good enough. On the other hand, our true essence or "being" is fueled by a Life force whose source is that of unconditional love, connection, compassion and peace. Does this mean that things are hopeless and our world is headed for disaster? It would seem so from the daily news feed that is continually reporting on traumatic weather conditions, tragic accidents, mass shootings, viral pandemics and economic upheavals. Or perhaps, the egotistical world and its illusions of fear are being energetically cracked open by a loving, invincible and eternal force far more intelligent, more powerful than the mere mind of a human can comprehend. Oftentimes it takes suffering to wake up an individual or global population headed down a road of destruction. Life gives us what we need to motivate us to make healthier, more conscious choices; choices that arise from our true being and not from our human ego.

We can't fix the world but we can take responsibility for ourselves. We can strive to re-connect with our true essence on a daily basis; be it through deep breathing, stillness, different forms of meditation, a walk in nature, music, the flow of creative energy, gazing upon a starry sky or full moon, interacting with the pure nature of animals, offering up compassion, unconditional love or forgiveness to another human being etc. When we realize that we are not our thoughts, our ego, our minds but something deeper, more peaceful, more perfect; then change will be felt personally and collectively. As beings we are perfect; as humans we are imperfect. The challenge is to partner with both aspects within ourselves and recognize when ego takes the lead. The ego thrives on fear, living in the past and worrying about the "what ifs" of the future. The "being" stems from love and is about the present moment and making conscious choices guided from an inner source of clarity, intuition and peace. We are able to live a fuller life when the "being" is in charge of awakened action to life experiences rather than allowing the "human" dimension to blindly follow the egotistical philosophy of this world for direction and validation.

It is a good thing if we recognize that the world is crazy because it means we are waking up to the ways of the world. As more and more people do the same, ego will take a step back and Life will flow through the human race more freely; more evolved, more expansive, more magnificent than ever.

Not Tapped Out Yet

1/20/2020

I read somewhere that dancing is one of the best exercises for the brain. I also read about the plasticity of the brain and its ability to create new neurons and pathways at any age. Could this idea be part of the solution to fewer "senior moments"? I have the added pressure to stay alert because my son is a doctor and at any sign of weakness, his medical training kicks into gear. All joking aside (kinda), the body and brain are a team, so I am always curious about ways to cater to both while still having fun.

So low and behold, last October, I received a notice from my daughter's old dance studio (Soo Dance Unlimited) about an adult beginner tap dance class. Automatically, images of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers flashed in my head - I was on stage with the bright lights, the glittery costume, and the wild applause. Coming back to reality, I realized that learning tap was something that fit my criteria; good for the body and brain but more importantly, it is social and fun. So here I am 10 classes later, tapping, albeit, a little laboured but still an enthusiastic member of "Chrissy's Rockstar Tappers". The combined sound of the group tapping and the lighthearted laughter are food for my soul as well as my body and mind. I think, Wendy Rose is a good stage name, what do you think?

I am finding that likes, dislikes and desires don't diminish as you age. Plus, there are fewer excuses or inhibitions to hide behind as in years past (kids, job, the need to impress etc.) and even fewer number of years ahead to postpone those desires. If the urge is there, then there is a hidden talent, waiting to be exposed - go after it! Remember age is only a number and you are never fully tapped out until your final curtain call.

Rewiring Replaces Retiring

1/18/2020

The word "retiring", should be retired from a person's vocabulary and replaced with "rewiring". My rewiring began at 57 when I choice to leave the 9 to 5 workforce to enjoy the last third of my life as my own boss. I was never heavily invested in a career or rising up the corporate ladder. Whatever position I took, had to meet the following criteria:

Worked with my family's schedule
The job had to have a continual learning curve
Was located close to home so walking was an option and having one car was never an issue
I would not be micromanaged and there was room for personal input
The organization was customer oriented and not all about the bottom dollar
An opportunity to empower and not enable others was the main vision

Looking back I accomplished that and was able to help with the family expenses as well. At 57, my kids were grown, financially independent; and my husband had only a couple of years until his "rewiring". I jumped ship. I know everyone's situation and goals are different but I looked at my situation. Sure, the house (1912 vintage) is small and a little dated but it is paid for. I can live with my 90's colour scheme and painting techniques (sponge painting will come back). Unfortunately, home renovations are not one of my talents or desires. My perks of being more available to family, friends and myself are my priorities.

My strongest fascination now, as I age, relates to the "big picture" and how we as humans fit in. My human brain will never fully figure out that question but I am open to exploring and rewiring and learning more about myself, through new experiences. My desire is to write about my aging escapades and hopefully inspire others to head their own expedition of self-discovery.

Finding the Gold in Getting Old: To My Youthful Self

1/14/2020

In our western society being young and youthful looking is greatly valued. People go to great lengths to stop the march of time. In caveman days, being young and virile was an advantage because hunting, reproducing, and sometimes fleeing danger were all essential to survival. However, these days, the Man Cave or She Shack take on a very different function - more of fun and relaxation. So why do we continue as a society, to fight the aging process? Why not accept and revere the gathering of wisdom and liberating insights that come with each passing year?

Oftentimes, ironically, our youth is spent wishing to be older so we can spread our wings and be more independent, and ignore the gifts that are right in front of us. Then, at a certain, self-proclaimed age, we panic and try to no avail, to put the brakes on the aging process.

If my 62 year old self could speak to my 16 year old self, I would share the following:

don't worry so much about pleasing people or living up to others expectations; the people who love you unconditionally just want you to be happy
the outside may age but the inner child remains intact
don't try to fit in, be yourself and your tribe will find you
confidence, self-acceptance and self-love are ageless attractants
challenges are simply the catalyst for growth and not punishment
life is constantly changing so appreciate the good and face the bad; they too shall pass
discover your strengths and passions and master them
take care of yourself; you only have one body to carry you through this life and nurture it
try new things, press beyond your comfort zone, question and never stop learning
don't work so hard that you have no time to take in the tiny, fleeting moments of joy present each day - be more of a human being rather than a continual human doing
you don't need to have everything figured out; make a conscious decision, if you don't like the outcome, choose again
you are worthy by just being alive; the purpose of doing and feeling is discovering just how powerful you really are despite what you have been told
choose to be happy and grateful now, and not in the future, so no matter what adventures or desires you pursue, you will lead a more satisfying life of contentment and not a life of want
you are made from a loving source, you are love and you are never alone; the Universe has your back -just look at the beauty and balance of nature
despite what you think, you never know it all and that's okay
be open-minded and flexible with your beliefs so you have room to grow and are open to limitless possibilities

There are other little nuggets of wisdom in my back pocket but I am sure my 16 year old self has long since tuned me out. That's okay because I am still practicing and discovering them experientially myself. The whole purpose of life is to be curious, have emotional experiences and face challenges that slowly strips back the layers or masks that we've built up since birth. Throughout this process I have come to realize that the pure source of love, joy, power and acceptance is not an outside quest but rather an inward journey of self-awareness. So 16 year old self; your 62 year old self feels grateful, blessed and abundant despite not matching up to society's view of success. Enjoy your youth, trust your inner compass and fear not; you will eventually, "Find the Gold in Getting Old!".

Grief is Love

1/10/2020

Life is like a roller coaster. It has its highs and its lows. It is all part of the human experience. Fully embracing life means being willing to face those highs and lows and continue to move forward with the flow. To live is to love and to love is to eventually experience loss. The pain or the grief from loss is merely the other face of love. The deeper the pain, the greater the love that was present for that something or someone.

Everyone grieves in different ways, at different intensities, for different lengths of time. Grief is as unique as the person. The one thing that is common for everyone is the need for the pain to been seen and to share that pain with others. Funerals, wakes, vigils, memorials etc. are various ways for people to gather and to witness grief together.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a psychiatrist and pioneer in near-death studies and David Kessler, a death and grieving expert, wrote about the 5 stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages do not necessarily follow that order. A person may bounce back and forth between 2 or more of the stages over time. Acceptance doesn't happen all at once but often little bits at a time. In David Kessler's latest book, Finding Meaning, he states that the pain will eventually shift when a sixth stage of grief enters the picture - meaning. Finding meaning in a person's death helps you deal with the pain.

Find meaning in the good memories and the legacy the departed has left behind; carrying on a trait, a philosophy or tradition that is strongly associated with the loved one. My brother left his job in Toronto at a young age and began an online freelance business that allowed him to move to Montreal and immerse in the French language and later move onto France to enjoy the beauty, food and culture of the coastal city of Nice. The memory of his open-mindedness and pursuit of simplicity and personal freedom is an ongoing inspiration to me seven years after his death.

My dad died about 3 years ago. He had dementia, macular degeneration and prostate cancer. The most obvious decline occurred during the last 3 years of his life. In a way, I experienced little bouts of grief as his health and independence faded away. Giving up his car license, unable to walk around the block by himself without getting lost or confused, losing the mind/body connection and being confined to a wheelchair, no longer being able to play his clarinet or saxophone, moving to a nursing home, and the catheter and frequent infections as the prostrate enlarged, were some of the mini deaths I witnessed and mourned along with him. When the time did come to move him to the hospice, my acceptance and gratitude were there for such a peaceful place to play out his final song.

I was blessed to be with my dad as he drew his last breath. My mom says I have my dad's sense of humour, something he emanated throughout his life. Despite or maybe because of his blindness and dementia he was able to live in the moment and forget any discomfort that he experienced a few minutes previously. Fortunately for our family, he never forgot who we were. I enjoyed the fact that he remembered me, and to him I was still a youthful, high school girl. He made me realize that there is joy in any situation and that if you can't find the humour in life, what is the use in living.

My mom was a tireless caregiver and advocate. It was because of my dad's illness that she found her voice. Their relationship was strengthened and more tender because in his case, the dementia weakened his ego and allowed his true heart to shine through. In his moments of clarity, he spoke his truth from the heart and oftentimes, it was very profound.

Further meaning is given to death due to my belief that a person's soul or essence lives on once the body shuts down. The love and connection continues on in a new form. How often have people talked about feeling the presence of a departed loved one, witnessing the erratic behaviour of a bird or animal in nature as if trying to get their attention or coming across objects in strange places (feathers, coins) that made them feel that their loved ones were making themselves known. For me, the signs came in the form of a butterflies that would land on me or hover close to me when my heart desired to know my dad was still around. I asked my dad to be with me when I took my first trip to Europe in 2018. When I was in Amsterdam on a cool October day, I noticed the strange phenomena of a live butterfly on a white frame separating two black front doors. There were no other butterflies in sight - my dad was along for the ride. In Nice, France, on the day I was going to spread my brother's ashes, I walked a long promenade by the beach and there was a lone man playing a familiar jazz song on his saxophone - immediately my emotions rose and I felt my dad's presence.

Death is not strong enough to end love. Life takes on a new normal. We experience love and great loss but life continues around us. We will never be the same but we can grow from the grief and make our lives even more meaningful after a death. In so doing we honour our loved ones and we become whole again. We never forget, never stop loving or never break the bond. Grief is inevitable but the gift of eternal love makes it all worth it.

New Year - New Habits

10/19/2019

A New Year always feels like a new beginning to me. A time to assess the old and attempt something new. A time to get rid of stuff that no longer "brings me joy" or reflects who I am. A time to evaluate where I am and where I want to go and grow. That doesn't mean that I take a giant leap and do something drastic - that would only lead to certain failure.

I recently read a very interesting book on building positive or dissolving negative habits. It is called "Atomic Habits" by James Clear.

I acquired many takeaways from that book such as:

- start off slowly when creating a new habit ex. start off by going to the gym for 5 minutes only
- focusing on the system or process to build a positive habit rather than the goal itself ex. set a time and location to perform the behaviour and strive to avoid missing twice in a row
- make the new habit part of your identity ex. "I am a person that makes healthy food choices and not I have to lose weight."

Our brains love rewards and are constantly seeking that "good feeling" with the least amount of effort. That is why those bag of chips or the chocolate bar on the kitchen counter are so appealing. Willpower is not the answer. If the brain sees something it wants - look out! The fast food and processed food industry is very much aware of this human tendency. Hence, their products are filled with salt, sugar and fat as well as a variety of combined textures. The "feel good" neurochemical dopamine is released in the brain's reward centre when a craving is acted upon. The mere anticipation of a pleasurable experience is enough to drive up the levels of dopamine. Social media, video games, pornography and certain drugs are more examples where instant rewards can be attained. Left unchallenged, the desire for even more dopamine hits increases and more and more exposure to the original source is sought.

Moderation or elimination can be applied to certain habits that do not reflect the beliefs that we presently hold. In his book, James Clear talks in more detail, about the backbone of every habit or automatic behaviour that we have and how to use this information to effectively create or eliminate any habit.

Every habit is made up of:

Cue - ex. see the chips
Craving - ex. feel the desire to eat the chips
Response - ex. eat the chips
Reward - ex. feel pleasure as the bag empties

The trick is to use this framework to develop a newer, more positive habit.

Cue - ex. create a healthy, encouraging environment - chips gone, fruit bowl on the counter
Craving - ex. feel the desire for the sweetness of fruit
Response - ex. grab an easily available fruit
Reward - ex. feel satisfied with less because of the healthier, higher fiber choice

So with these ideas in mind, I am going to implement my own system to encourage more writing.

Cue - I have assigned myself a specific area and time slot exclusively for writing
Craving - I enjoy (natural ability?) writing so the desire is there
Response - I am starting small by only writing as much as I feel without judgement, within a 2 hour period or less
Reward - Feeling satisfied for showing up and producing one or more lines of thought

My goal is to produce a more regular blog and another book. James Clear talks about tracking your progress - be it a food journal or a fitness tracker. The daily increase in words and time spent writing is my tracker. He also talks about having an accountability partner. Telling others what you are up to does help encourage you to follow through on what you said you would do.

So there you have it. Another year, another opportunity to express who you are and nurture your natural abilities. Start small, make it attractive with little rewards along the way and every once in awhile review your progress and tweak your system so boredom does not knock you off your path.

Happy New Healthy Habits for 2020!

Our Connection with Nature

10/17/2019

There is a common Life energy that flows through nature connecting both animate and inanimate forms. There is an intricate dance and balance between sun, earth, plants, animals etc. The energy of the sun, nourishes the plants that in turn feed the herbivores providing food energy for the carnivores. Nothing in nature is in isolation.

The common, creative and conscious energy is the driving force for all - including us humans. Our bodies are made up of the same elements, minerals and life energy that make up the planet. The best way to feel our connection with nature is to spend time in nature. The air we breathe, the food we eat and the sun rays we bath in are some of the major keys to our survival and well-being.

As a human and natural-being we have the ability through our Ego, to recognize ourselves as separate individuals. We are able to go beyond mere instinct and tap into free-will, advanced problem-solving and creative pursuits. With these unique abilities, we have the power to choose to fall in or out of alignment with our natural selves and nature itself.

We must have a deep respect, reverence and conscious awareness of how our interactions with nature affects the energetic flow, harmony and interconnections of the various hierarchies and ecosystems in nature. To destroy nature is to destroy ourselves.

Awareness begins by recognizing that we are an integral part of nature and as such we need to nurture this connection everyday.

Simply ways to connect with nature can include:

- focusing outdoors on the simple act of conscious breathing; remembering how oxygen is produced by plants
- swimming in or being near water; a large percentage of our bodies are made up of water
- walking barefoot on the ground; connecting with Earth's energy
- listening to the sound of birds or the wind in the trees; nature's sound therapy
- mindfully walking outside and observing nature in the neighbourhood or in a park
- picking and tasting the fresh, fruits of nature
- regularly getting outside soaking up some sun; gardening, exercising, meditating in a special spot that is calming, peaceful and dominated by nature

Just as this Life energy feeds, nurtures and guides nature's natural rhythms, it does the same to us as well. However, humans can choose to ignore the natural ebb and flow of things and become out of alignment. We cannot successfully thrive separate from nature. We must remember that we are an extension of nature. Communion with nature, re-sets us, centres us and opens our hearts to our true nature and the confirmation that there is a more powerful, loving, creative energy continually working in the background.